I haven’t caught up with my favorite Black couple in a while. While peeping at their site the other day, I saw that both Kelli and Derrick chimed in on a topic that all Black women can relate to. Without further ado, I present to you:
Signs You’re Dating a Crazy Negro
Derrick: Ladies, who do I keep hearing stories of brothers who don’t have their marbles in order when it comes to their relationship skills? While the woman wants to believe these crazy ass men are just overprotective and showing their love by doing crazy ass things; those on the outside looking in know the truth…THIS NEGRO IS CRAZY! Stop believing this obsessive and controlling behavior is love because love doesn’t hurt (to quote the cliché). Here are some signs you’re dealing with a psycho (Yes, you over there!) A lot of men may see some of these behaviors in their lady friends…lol:
1. He constantly checks your cell phone for numbers and text messages he doesn’t recognize– or even voicemails from another male. It doesn’t matter if it’s your brother, cousin or father, no other men are allowed to call you but his crazy ass!
2. If you even think or talk about having male friends, he might go berserk. Your male friends have to be gay and he will IM them under an alias to check…
3. He follows you when you don’t know it and breaks into your car to check your mileage meter to have an approximate calculation of how far you’ve really been traveling. He knows the store is only 2.5 miles away so…why did you use of 15 miles on your gauge? (You better run Forrest, run!)
4. Any establishment with men is off limits to you. Whether it’s church, work, the club, a friends party, the mall or the whole world, you better plan to stay in the house with his crazy ass at all times. Best believe he’s allowed to go anywhere he pleases though!
5. If he calls you and you don’t answer your phone, he assumes you’re up to no good because deep down he know you’re a no good hussy.
6. He hides a tracking device inside your car to monitor your location at all times.
7. He spends the majority of his days consumed with where you are, who you’re with, where you are going and asks you more questions than an episode of Jeopardy.
8. He wants to make his presence known to everybody and just “magically” happens to know the name and addresses of everybody you know.
9. He doesn’t think his crazy ass is crazy.
10. Everyone you’ve met thats known him tells you his ass is crazy! And you thought they were just kidding, at first…
11. He hits you or tries to hurt you emotionally.
12. He tells you if you leave him, he will kill you.
Derrick: Ladies be aware of the SIGNS OF A CRAZY NEGRO. You may not see them initially but when you do, try and get as far away as possible. Many of you may be married to these NEGROES or just dating these NEGROES, however, if you’re scared you’ll be hurt, go to the Police ASAP. If you don’t trust the PoPo (and you have good reason not to) try hiding out at a trusted friend or family members house where he can’t reach you and pray he finds another victim to focus his crazy ass attention on!
Kelli: I’ve had too many friends (strange enough, a lot of them didn’t have father figures in their lives) who think a crazy man is a man in love. This perception has to be ended! A man in love will respect you and treat you like the African queen you are! Many of us (and I sure as hell include myself) don’t know our own value and therefore we allow a man to get a discount on something that should be priceless, our hearts. Please, if you recognize any of these signs in your current partner, start building a loving relationship with yourself so that you can see you are worth more than a man who abuses you. This has been another Black Couple PSA and we hope, through the chuckles, you know we’re serious!
Why is “the crazy negro” have to have a big afro? Are you trying to insinuate that black men with afros are somehow crazy? Not reading your blog anymore…FYI, they are lots of crazy men without hair like that…interesting how you chose *this* picture to portray “crazy”…